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Dear Nancy,
This is perhaps one of the most important skills to have ..
Before you go into the ring ...
In fact, before you get up on your horse!
And actually, before you even get out of bed every day!
(And what better time than the holidays, with all the "personalities" together, to learn these emotional strength & resiliency skills.)
Step 1: Change Your Beliefs!
The reason we get upset or angered when someone or something "does something to us" ...
Is because we believe that "does something to us" phrase.
It is how we are framing the experience.
The belief that others are responsible for our feelings and reactions ...
Then we will blame them. (And complain about them.)
Remember that whenever we blame others, we are volunteering to become victims.
And victims are disempowered and angry.
(It is a very angry place to be!)
"But they DID say something that hurt or angered me."
Or ...
"But the _____ DID do something he/she should not have." (Fill in with trainer, horse, friends, etc.)
Ok, but what does that have to do with YOUR feelings and reactions?
(THAT is within YOUR control! THAT is YOUR choice!)
But at this moment, it is just your default/automatic "untrained" and "not reined in" reaction.
See, this is a belief that we hold ...
That other people, places and things are responsible for our feelings and reactions.
And we believe this because it FEELS like we can't control our feelings and reactions!
So, I know at first this new belief is like a cognitive dissonance moment to NOT believe that new, more empowering belief ...
But consider this ...
People who have learned what techniques work for them to prevent themselves from being triggered ...
Or to quickly turn off their default REACTIONS after they get triggered ...
And to instead, immediately deploy RESPONSES that serve them better ...
Become believers of this unversal truth:
No one (no people, places or things) can push our buttons unless WE give them that power!
Yup, it's true!
Think about this for a moment ...
Why give your power away to others?
This is something we are VOLUNTEERING to do!
It's amazing what happens when WE take back the reins of our emotions.
When we take EXTREME OWNERSHIP for our feelings and responses!
When we DECIDE that one can unseat us!
Or even upset us ... not for long anyway!
And I mean NO ONE! Yup, at a snap of a finger ... poof! Gone!
How empowering is that??????
2. So, this is a decision we need to make ...
To change our beliefs and to take back our power!
3. Commit to learning the tools and techniques that work for you!
(Which starts first with uncovering WHY certain things have triggered you. Then we move into solutions!)
4. Enjoy the new, empowered inner strength and the new unflappable YOU!
This I can promise you ...
Life is SO MUCH MORE enjoyable when we are not going through it ...
Like an out-of-control bomb about to go off with anything we don't like.
And along with being more enjoyable when we have mastered ourselves ...
We will also no longer need to quit or to stop running away ...
And to continue to practice the bad habits of avoidance.
And the powerless and angry feelings of blame.
Talk about riding with confidence and joy!
Talk about transforming your life!
Want some stories and techniques used by some of my riders?
Read my book ... Or purchase this as a gift for someone you love this holiday season.
Equestrian Rockstars: Solving Your Puzzle for Riding with Confidence and Joy
Ready to move away from the pain and embarrassment of not performing at your best with your riding ...
And other areas of your life? Want to learn how to become UNFLAPPABLE?
These emotional strength and resilience skills are included in my basic equestrian bootcamp program ...
As well as my UNFLAPPABLE coaching program for non-riders.
Click here to chat with me:
Schedule a free chat
Make it a day filled with accomplishments and joy!
Nancy Dye
Breakthrough Mental Skills Coach
Emotional Strength and Resilience Trainer
Strategic Interventionist
1-561-866-0402
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