It's showtime!

We have a great horse. We are riding with the best trainer!

And we show up afraid ... or annoyed ... or resistance ... or ....

Let's call it what it is ... NOT ALWAYS A TOTAL JOY TO TEACH!

There. I said it! Yes, sometimes we can be difficult ...

Why do we sabotage ourselves like this?

As riders, we choose our trainers because we want to work with the best; we value their experience and expertise.

But then we may start becoming irritated, annoyed or negative (if not downright angry), if things are not going EXACTLY the way we want them to go.

If trainers don't say the words we want the to say, how and when we want them said. (You know, that invisible script we wrote for them!)

Usually, things begin to unravel when we FEEL like our trainers are being too tough on us. (Code for not following our script or caring about our feelings.)

As we react to our perceptions (and negative interpretations) about what someone says or does that is "off our script", we react against them "going rogue" on us.

Then we get even more pushback from our trainers because the best ones won't put up with negativity, attitude or non-compliance.

The never ending issues and eggshells that they to have to walk on.

Not for long, anyway.

So the choice is, do we want to step up and learn how to reframe and control our emotions and to become more resilient?

Or are we going to run to a new trainer. Rinse and repeat. Again. And again.

Until we have learned, practiced, and perfected how to master ourselves, including our feelings and perceptions that are not serving us well, we will always be on the run.

Or if we stay with the trainer, it will not be a joyful or productive experience.

Which it absolutely CAN be if we decide to step up and grow.

Wait ... what ... WE are the ones that have to change?

YUP!

We can't change other people, places or things.

And while we may dream about the desire for an "easier" trainer, as coach Tony Robbins says about his mother:

"Had she been the mother I wanted her to be, I would not be the man that I am proud to be today."

We know the best trainers will get us to our desired goals.

So we need to MAKE A DECISION to place a higher value on actually ACHIEINVG our goals ....

Which then means, we HAVE to change our focus from complaining and resisting ...

To embracing, with GRATITUDE, the toughest and the best.

Then we need to invest in learning how to step up and show up in our riding as our best possible, peak performance COACHABLE self!

Because only the toughest and the best can train and produce results ...

From having put in the consistent and disciplined work and time training with the toughest and the best!

But CAUTION: this only works if we are clear about our role in the team.

Acceptance is key; we are to work THEIR plan, not the other way around. They are the leaders, and we are the followers.

For some people, being the follower FEELS like being a controlled child.

This is why the military starts leadership training by having the "newbies" learn as the role of the cadet.

The cadet is the team member that knows how to comply and follow orders, no questions asked.

And only cadets that can do that, and do it WELL ...

That can prove over time that they CAN master their negative perceptions, attitudes and reactions ...

Are then chosen to advance to learn how to become a leader in the officer training programs.

Because only people who have mastered themselves are really qualified to become leaders.

As the pilot of our horses, that is a leadership position.

But we cannot know how to train our horses to be effective co-pilot team members, that will follow our lead ...

If we have not already understood and mastered how to be a good follower.

Because good followers are coachable and therefore, they are capable of learning how to excel at their job!

What do we have to do to be a good follower?

Throw away OUR playbook and script, unrealistic expectations, and childish negative attitudes ...

And working the plan from the leader, to the best of our ability, without all the resistance of our "stories" and "excuses."

It is NOT our trainer that we need to hold accountable to work OUR plan ... according our OUR expectations and script.

They just need to know the end goal that you want. Then THEY will put together the plan of how to arrive there.

WE need to look at ourselves and where WE have to hold OURSELVES accountable for doing OUR job ...

Being a coachable follower and executer of our tough trainer's plan.

We are either the cadet with the great attitude who embraces the process of learning (dare I say "be a joy to teach?") or we are the officer (trainer) in charge.

But we can't be both.

Want to read real case studies of riders who struggled with their trainers and learned tools, tricks, and techniques to turn that relationship and their results around?

You can find them here in my book.

Equestrian Rockstars

Make it a great week!

Nancy Dye
Breakthrough Equestrian Mental Skills Coach
Emotional Strength & Resiliency Trainer
Strategic Interventionist

1-561-866-0402

Elite Lifestyle Transformations, LLC