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Dear Nancy,
At the moment of this event, none of us could have predicted how the world would was about to drastically change. What I could predict, and actually knew for a fact, was that my husband would not be on this earth within a few years.
The lesson? You are not alone on this ride.
I was wrong about this belief. "A rock solid strong foundation mentally and physically will best ensure that no matter what life throws at you, you have the comfort and certainty of knowing that you have the mental tools and physical stamina to get through anything." (My quote.)
Everyone knows that I am anti-limiting beliefs in one's ability to succeed, to change, and to overcome ANY adversity.
Everyone knows my manta is, while I pound my chest, is "Bring it on!"
(Careful what you focus on!)
But what I found out when the massive shit hit the fan all at once (early stages of pandemic and my husband dying) and the "finally out of denail" fact that the Titanic was, in fact, sliding down, is that some challenges are beyond human strength.
As it turns out, my mental strength was stronger than what my body could endure.
Overwhelming stress that includes 24/7 caretaking and lack of sleep, no matter how powerful the mental reframes, does take a physical toll. This can even include the development of serious and irreversable diseases.
Yea, yea. I blew off all that negative "doom and gloom" shit off like was I was a stupid, invinceable teenager off to college!
I stayed with "Nope, I got this!" It's just how I roll from decades of programming my brain. Brain muscle memory!
Some of us to choose to ignore that fact that our bodies are not as strong as our minds can be and decide we are more powerful than nature, but Mother Nature has engineered this "weaker link" by brilliant design.
It is the good news that we are not robots and that our bodies are vulnerable, not the bad news. Because ONLY when life events are crushing us and becoming too much PHYSICALLY, will we some of us let go of the fallacy that our own strength is enough.
I have conditioned my brain to believe and to step up and to perform (and do the right thing) no matter what, so it was a DECISION and a process of letting go and asking for spiritual strength to carry me through that was needed.
Did I believe that there was NOT a power higher than I?
No, I am actually very spiritual (although I don't discuss that with my clients unless they volunteer the same beliefs).
I just was so stuck on my human bridle path and depending upon my own power, that I didn't even turn my head and look over at the next HUGE obstacle that was over there on other side of the course!
I thought I was prepared, but actually, I wasn't.
Wasn't even looking where I was going, or what was coming up next, cause I refused to look and see it for what it really was.
But it was more than that ...
I had gotten so strong mentally and physically that I had gotten on a self-reliance path and had developed a habit of not asking for help anymore.
We will only be gifted with the real foundation we need to succeed through our most difficult days when we give up the delusion that our human bodies can handle all this.
Yes, it is true that without mental strength and tools and physcial health, we will fall quicker and more easily become unseated.
But as life continues to test us and starts dumping even more challenges on us, in some cases an avalnche all at once ...
(Most of which is totally out of our control ... )
Our hope for coming out the other side as whole as possible, and even stronger than ever, is to accept and feel gratitude that God's power IS more powerful than we are.
And it IS there for us IF WE ASK!
Keep your eyes UP. And looking to prepare for nailing that next obstacle; bringing certainty to yourself knowing that you got this because you are strong mentally, physically, AND spiritually.
You are not alone on this ride.
Unless you choose to be.
Deciding there is no power in this entire universe greater than yourself is a freedom of choice. God did not mandate it for a reason.
(For some things, mandates don't work. Try to coach someone and effect change for someone who doesn't see a need or want it.)
Being strong enough to get through it all, is not about complying with something you don't want or feel you even need.
It is eyes wide open and seeing.
It's about recognizing the HUMAN need, accepting your vulnerablilites, and WANTING and INVITING that partnership and life saving /life enriching support.
Stay courageous and strong!
Nancy Dye
Breakthrough Mental Skills Coach
Emotional Strength & Resilience Training
Strategic Interventionist
1-561-866-0402
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