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Nancy,
Every now and then I get this urge to walk my German Shepherd about the time of day before the sun sets.
I love that time of day.
But I've made that mistake before and learned my lesson.
Funny thing about her, and most dogs ...
You go "off roading" even just once, and they have now permanently engraved that into their schedule. (I think it was dogs that invented that term; the "new normal"!)
And then you have to deal with trying to turn off their scheduling alarms.
"No, Sage, that walk yesterday was a every once in a while, spontaneous thing! It is NOT now part of your new routine!"
She doesn’t know what to do with “once in a spontaneous, unplanned while. "It is either preplanned and always on the schedule or it is not! She wants ME to stick with HER rules!
German Shepherds are working dogs. And she takes her job very seriously!
GSDs are also all about tracking. They study and learn the course. They are committed to staying on mission.
With the military precision of immaculate timing.
Who needs a clock?
Not me!
And so, adding one new element into Sage's daily mix? Suddenly, the action is to be repeated the next day and every day.
This "programming" in the brain happens with other animals, right? And even humans ...
Because the brain is always keeping track of abnormal activities, and it is driven to simplify its "filing system" by categorizing and making any action automatic!
How could this “once in a blue moon” spontaneous action effect your riding or your New Year's resolutions for a successful year?
Be VERY intentional about what new actions (and even thoughts) that you allow yourself to entertain or "just try." Especially with horses … cause now there are two brains to deal with!
Do something once, and it might "light up" those areas of the brain that says, "Oh! This feels good! Let's do that again!"
Depending upon "how good" it feels, which includes anything that takes away or mitigates bad feelings, is how driven you may be to repeat that action.
If you graduated from my peak performance mental skills boot camp, you already know the 6 human needs that will drive us ...
To take either negative or positive action!
We WILL fulfill those needs, so we either INTENTIONALLY fulfill them in a positive way or the vacuum will default to the negative way.
So, therefore, we must be very STRATEGIC when it comes to what I call tactical retreats.
Tactical retreats are when we move backwards instead of forward … for a purpose.
Just like when we are fighting any war to accomplish a mission ...
There are times when it is the better plan to "fall back" and regroup!
Maybe because the "enemy" outsmarted us, and we are feeling overwhelmed or realizing we are under prepared.
Or there is new evidence to consider.
So, we retreat. Take cover. Take a break. Get some rest.
(Note that retreat is NOT the same as surrender although it may FEEL like that!)
It is a positive and TEMPORARY action where we gather more supplies, consider new intel, and come up with a better plan.
When does this tactical retreat work well with riders?
After they have had a fall or are hitting the limits of their current abilities and seem unable to move up.
This is when a tactical retreat is intentional and is a good plan of action.
We go back to "basic training" and lower the height of the jumps or simplify a course.
(Sadly, some riders see this adjustment as embarrassing instead of embracing a success oriented strategic mission to guarantee success in the future.)
When a negative meaning is applied to that proven success tactic, riders can get stuck at that lower height.
However, it is a well thought out decision to live to fight another day with more "ammunition" such as physical and mental skills.
When is a tactical retreat a bad action to take?
When a rider is going down the line to a jump and "feels" uncertainty ...
And then imagines it as seeing a potentially dangerous problem ... or they just start playing in the “sandbox of doubts and debating their decisions.” Or fears just pop up ...
Whatever ... their focus and their intentions are NOT on nailing the jump ...
Instead, their gut instincts (driven by fear) are … “punch out, punch out!” (TGM)
They immediately eject from the pilot's seat (mentally) and disconnect from their horse.
What happened?
Well, their focus defaulted to what is wrong, or could go wrong, and then instead of communicating to their wingman and adjusting down the line while still moving forward and then clearing the jump ...
They "all or nothing radically OVER “adjust” … which is just flat out quitting on your partnership with your horse.
(But they choose to see it is as a tactical retreat with a meaning that it is smart move …)
To suddenly circle. Or slam on the brakes right in front of the jump.
Now ...there may be extreme situations where this is necessary.
BUT for the most part, doing an "automatic", knee jerk reaction like this ...
Is NOT a tactical retreat.
This is an out of control, avoidance/running away REACTION ...
That can have negative consequences! Certainly, it does NOT help us to complete our mission!
Call it what it is! Don't downplay and diminish it. It is being a chicken and wimping out.
(Sorry, I must demonize it so we will want to move away from it.)
What about the rider at the show who cancels classes at the last minute?
They already agreed to a plan for the trainer to ride their horse in several classes first, and then when it came time for the rider to go into the ring, suddenly they execute a tactical retreat such as ...
“Oh, well, the horse is newly back from rehabbing an injury, so that’s enough for today.”
What is the tactical retreat cover-up story for "suddenly" checking out on an agreed upon plan for showing?
Or a jumper rider not moving at a faster pace?
“I’m doing this for my horse! I don't want him to get hurt.”
Once we have allowed ourselves to take that new action to runaway even once ...
With excuses ...
And our brain feels the relief of the stress ...
And the negative emotions of the doubt and fears suddenly vanish ...
Now we feel better! (Hey, being a wimp feels good!)
And BAM! We're hooked! And our brain will drive us to do that action again. And again!
By the time these riders get to me for coaching, I now must deal with someone who is addicted to a negative patten of behavior which may even now be a deep rabbit hole!
(These are the habitual quitters or avoidance types, right?)
By then, they don't even WANT to let go of the bad habit, in a way, because ...
It is fulfilling so many needs, like the certainty of being safe, and feels so good to them, they see it as an action that works for them!
They see it as winning even if they don't actually have that thought in words.
They even buy their own propaganda/excuses for this behavior as "taking back control" somehow!
But the truth is, it is giving yourself a back door out of committing to move forward and straight to complete the mission of going over the jumps!
(Staying with the plan or program!)
Now, deep down inside, they MAY be aware (but trying to block), that they ALSO feel like a wimp!
The first time they do it, they will swallow the cringe worthy feeling of being a wimp to avoid the bigger pain from the danger they perceive in having to complete the original mission.
(Oh great, keep repeating that pattern of swallowing wimp actions, and now we are practicing becoming comfortable with acting like a wimp!)
But it gets worse!
Wait for it …drum roll …
Soon acting like a wimp (but disguised as doing tactical retreats) will become part of their identity!
Sometimes that even escalates up to their new self-deprecating comic routine that makes everyone laugh!
(I have had MANY of these riders! It was their way of making lemonade out of lemons!)
Now they are craving that attention and applause from wimping out; repeatedly falling, stopping, running out, canceling classes or always making the same mistakes in the ring!
You know, the endearing "class clown" that everyone loves cause they are soooo human, relatable, and funny! (Now we don't feel so bad!)
Because those riders, after allowing themselves to avoid finishing the RIGHT mission, have now SUBCONSCIOUSLY coded their brains with a rule;
That it is OK to automatically react and not do something you don't want to do.
Their Self-Sabotaging Rule: Don’t continue on and go over the jump. Don’t keep your commitment to riding in a class!
Or to any original plan!
Anytime you want.
WAIT WHAT??????????
When did it become OK to not do anything that feels uncomfortable, or scary, that you don't want to do?
Or to allow yourself to get distracted with something more fun to do ... cause you just can't say no!
Not exactly a recipe for success, right? (And clearly not showcasing effective mental skills!)
So if a rider is ever "uncomfortable" moving forward, they just justify it to themselves and others with a label of "tactical retreat."
The rider's brain is now coded to define "staying safe” as running away for “good reasons.”
This a self-sabotaging avoidance tactic …
In the case of the rider that stops or runs out of a jump, it is untraining the horse along with programming the rider’s own brain and nervous system to fail.
As we PRACTICE over and over self-sabotaging DEFEAT, we risk becoming "disabled" in our emotional/mental strength. Maybe even frozen in G-Lock!
This is NOT success. This is a downward spiral to the hard deck and beyond!
(We all can relate to this with food, nutrition plans and bad eating habits, right?)
AND HOW DO WE STOP THAT MADNESS?
HOW DO WE PULL UP AND LEVEL OUT OUR WINGS FROM THIS ADDICTIVE, DOWNWARD SPIRAL?
AND ACCOMPLISH OUR ORIGINAL PLAN OF STAYING ON MISSION?
Make a new EMPOWERING rule; cancel the Mission Creep!
What is a mission creep?
That's when you allow yourself to go "off roading" just this once. Just a little.
That then elevates to several little more movements that eventually spirals into another time to repeat a bad habit.
Then another.
Yup, our self-sabotaging identity is on a mission to trip us up!
This mission creep continues until our well intentioned plans and goals slowly unravel.
Back into bad habits again!
We can have the best trainers and horses, but at the end of the day ...
Only we can control how we program our brains and the ability to stay focused and on track ...
With our intentions, our mission, and the mental ability to affectively fight those uncomfortable moments of uncertainty or the painful moments of fear.
Or those tempting "just this once" off-roading decisions that puts on back on the old bridle path of bad habits ...
Of not consistently moving forward towards our original mission!
“We are either pitiful or powerful, but we can’t be both.” Dr. Joyce Meyers
(No matter what "smart tactical" label we slap on the undsiciplined, pitiful, and fearful actions!)
Learn how to commit and stay on course so you can consistently move forward to generating winning results throughout your entire new year!
Nancy Dye
Breakthrough, Peak Performance Mental Skills Coach
Emotional Strength & Resiliency Trainer
Strategic Interventionist
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